Honor Thy Mother

Love means so many things to different people and different relationships. I love my parents and friends in a different way than I do my husband and children. The love I felt when I first met my husband and the way we celebrated while dating, engaged, and, now, married has changed on the outside, but on the inside it has just blossomed into a beautiful union that cannot be replaced.

I love that my husband, after 14 years together and two kids, can come home from a long day at work and praise me for being an awesome mom and wife. He even said, as I was thinking the same thought, that he doesn’t need to wait for a holiday to express his love for me.  Even though we may play along with the traditional Hallmark holidays for our own fun, we don’t actually need them to express how we feel all year.  We focus more on showing love and appreciation for each other year round and more spontaneously. 

There’s a banner which used to hang in my healing room but recently moved to our bedroom that says it perfectly:  “Love is living our very essence, one heartbeat at a time...together.”  Having children and being in new roles as parents has made being “present” much easier.  Years ago, before I began on my healing journey, I used to stress about the future and hold onto the mistakes and traumas of the past. Being in the present used to be something I strived for; now it is a necessity.  I have found that things go awry when you are not present with your family.  I have dramatically reduced my “interference” from other sources to really bask in the special little moments with each of them.  Each day will never be the same as the one before, so I am focusing on cherishing all these moments of this chapter in my life.  I feel that this is a great way to honor and love my husband and my children.  When children see a strong bond of love and romance between their parents, they feel more secure and confident in their lives so they can excel at whatever they want, instead of worrying about their future.

During the birth of our son, just a few months ago, I felt a whole new love for my husband.  I can actually say that our son’s birth was romantic and brought us even closer.  That was my Valentine’s Day and the beautiful memory makes me smile all the time.  Seeing each other in the new role of parent to one and then two children has really taken our relationship to another level.  We can really honor each other by feeling and expressing that love all year.

Valentine’s Week in our house will most likely include special love songs at my daughter’s school and holiday related crafts at the museum where she takes a weekly art class.  We may make heart shaped muffins and eat at one of her favorite places as a family.  My son is too young to participate fully, but he loves to tag along everywhere with us.  He will surely feel the love emanating from all of us, as he does every day.  My husband and I still plan to do the same “date night” a few days before or after the Big Day to avoid the crowds.  The actual night of Valentine’s Day will most likely include his favorite meal made at home, or he may treat me to my favorite take out. We sometimes watch, “Love Actually,” one of our favorite romantic movies.  Whatever we decide to do, we will make the most of our moments by being present and embracing the love we all feel for each other. Enjoy your day and feel the love, it's everywhere!

Blessings to all,

-Velvet Star Chong