Cycles are what our space consists of, death of one thing and the rebirth of another. I have to admit that even though these are cycles, and we are aware of it most of them, they still have a tendency to be somewhat of a curveball. This means that they can throw you of balance and hurt like hell. For me personally, the worst is when we have to deal with the death part of the cycle. The death portion, or section, indicates that we have to go through the steps of healing ourself. So the sooner you get that, the sooner you can move into the rebirth. But it’s much easier said than done isn’t it.
Thankfully, we are all different, and we deal with events in the case death differently. I consider death to be the end of a cycle. What I believe to be important, is to know that you are experiencing a loss, and then working through that loss. If you choose not to, you will end up in the same space for much longer than you need to, and remember, rebirth cannot be in the same space as death. Similar to light and dark, they do not share the same spaces at the same time.
These are the healing steps as I have them: (it is always good to have some form of guidance, just so that you know where you are and where you are on your way to.)
1. Denial and Isolation
2. Anger / Guilt
Personally, I believe that you have to feel and experience the process of loss, as irritatingly hurtful and painful, as it may be. The truth of the matter is, that we are having a human experience, in which we love, which means we hurt. There are times that the loss we experience is less devastating than others, and then there are those times where your whole being is ripped to pieces, where tomorrow looks like an impossibility, and yesterday a dream. We all have times where we pray for a release from this space with all your might, and we are not answered. When our tears come from a space where angels fear to tread, and breathing is the most difficult action our body has ever contemplated. Allow yourself to feel and experience all of these things, for in this experience, you will be reborn and uplifted. When I refer to feeling or experiencing these steps, I refer to having a certain amount of interaction with them.
Most of us are rather sensitive to others, and do not always want to take out on others what or how we feel. So in your moments or release, you need to find alternatives to get this out of your being. There are various ways of doing this, and you know yourself and your space better than anyone, so you will know what is best for you. One thing you can try when you have a moment alone, after everyone went to bed or has gone shopping, is to use a mirror. Set up your space with a candle or two, and whatever you want to keep with you, or have in that space. Remember to call your guides.
You can go through most of the steps using this method. Start talking, fighting, arguing, crying, shouting, feeling and experiencing your loss. There are always things we still wanted to say, or things that made us angry, and those need to be released. I know that some people will tell you in order to find a solution, you must directly confront the person if they are still in this space, however that can often cause more hurt than release. Keep in mind we are not all on the same level of consciousness at the same time. I believe healing is sacred, and it is yours. There are more than enough angels and guides to assist you during this process. You will probably have to do this a few times, and for as long as it takes. This is a safe space for you where you can do and say whatever you need to, without worrying that you will hurt someone else in your grieving process. You know when we hurt, we have a tendency to accidently hurt the ones we love; this will help you to limit those tendencies. As explained, we all hurt differently please respect those who grieve different to you in the same situation or event of loss. Allow yourself and others whatever timeframe they may need to complete their own individual process.
There are so many things we do not always consider as loss or death, and thus we do not experience them and allow ourselves to move on. Many of these losses no longer serve a purpose other than keeping us, or parts of ourselves, from moving on. Consider the following events, and ask yourself if you have ever mourned their loss, perhaps in experiencing these events or losses, you are able to change your current reality.
Loss of a vehicle, a pet, a relationship of any kind, a piece of memorabilia relating to your past, your blanky when you were little, or a toy you found significant as a child, any loss you had whether thing or person, a job, a part of your being due to trauma or tragedy, and sometimes a part of your physical body. We need to say goodbye, and allow the loss to be what it is. Moving on from loss does not mean to forget. We do not forget, rather, we can choose how we remember.
Once you have been so brave as to experience your loss, you now have to take on the challenge of moving on. Rebirth can only come once you have moved on from the space of loss and grief. Considering you have been working through the death, I can guarantee that you will be gently guided into a new rebirth, with new ideas and new beginnings. Make no mistake, this too can be scary. With new beginnings, usually comes a certain amount of change. If you are guided to that new job, or a new town, or new friends, again you will have to exhibit some courage and bravery. Luckily, you are safe and you will be ok. In this process, we authentically grow and learn. Please know that you are not alone, and have never been, nor will you ever be. (Not even when you lay curled up in the smallest corner of your bed feeling that your world has ended.) Your world will change, and be different that is true, however, your experience of your new changed world will be entirely up to you.
How do you know you have survived the cycle…well I think it is different for all of us, but for me personally, it will usually manifest as a gentle, but strong and instant realization, that I am ok. It is in the moment that you sit outside watching your children having fun, and it washes over you like fresh rain drops, I made it and I am ok, who knew!
May we all be brave enough to mourn our losses and experience a beautiful new beginning filled with all the beauty and love we can handle. Lovingly dedicated to Jesse, may the wings of the angels carry you on your new journey and your guidance remain close the hearts of those you have taught.
Love and Blessings
Dr Leana Kriel
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